Watch it
“Survivor: Heroes vs. Villains” (8 p.m., CBS). Heads-up, here’s a new episode on a different night because college basketball is on tomorrow. Tonight there’s a double elimination, and Russell and Boston Rob target each other. The previews suggest Rob might get the boot, but come on, the previews always lie.
“Modern Family” (9 p.m., ABC). Mitchell and Jay try to have some father-son bonding during a meteor shower, and Phil and Claire try to help their kids with school projects. Sounds like a recipe for disaster.
“The Inbetweeners” (9:30 p.m., BBC America). The guys volunteer at a nursing home in hopes of winning a prize. I’m going to go out on a limb and say things go horribly, horribly, hilariously awry.
“South Park” (10 p.m., Comedy Central). The boys collaborate on writing a book worthy of being banned from school. I’ll give you a hint where this is going: the title is “The Tale of Scrotie McBoogerballs.”
“Ugly Americans” (10:30 p.m., Comedy Central). Last week’s series premiere was actually pretty funny. It’s an animated look at a twisted New York where demons, zombies and other monsters live amongst humans. Think of it as ‘The Life and Times of Tim,” but set in hell. Worth checking out.
“Late Show with David Letterman” (11:35 p.m., CBS). A super cool lineup of guests: Tina Fey, Bryan Cranston and musical guest Joat Jett and the Blackhearts. Plus my friend Ron is in the audience.
Record it
“Human Target” (8 p.m., Fox). Chance has to get in a boxing ring to protect a fighter in Vienna. Sounds even stupider than usual. It’s been my mindless sorbet of a show, but this might be a tad too stupid even for me.
“America’s Next Top Model” (8 p.m., The CW). The models have to bust a move, and one wants to quit. Who cares, as long as there’s a chance another one will tumble off the runway. (Have you seen this? The first fall is awkward and you kinda feel sorry for her, but she moves on. The second fall is pure hilarity.)
“MythBusters” (9 p.m., Discovery). A new episode tackles the myth of killer soda cups. I don’t think I’ve heard that one.
“Cougar Town” (9:30 p.m., ABC). Jules tries to give up wine for a month (Ha! Good luck) and Sheryl Crow guest-stars as a wine rep who lusts after Grayson. Is it just me or have guest stars run amok on sitcoms this season? Seems like almost every show has a new star every week, and it takes away from the cohesiveness of the regular cast. Can’t we just say enough already and save the celebrity cameos for sweeps month?
“Is It Possible?” (10 p.m., Discovery). Segments include looks at an Ironman-like military battle suit, flying robotic penguins, an extremely flexible woman and FLYING ROBOTIC PENGUINS! How could this not be cool?
Skip it
“Most Unique McDonald’s” (8 p.m., Travel). It’s a 60-minute infomercial for McDonald’s. Besides, regardless of whether they serve beer or have all-black decor or offer pork buns, it’s still the same nasty food. By design, nothing about it is unique.
“Fly Girls” (9 p.m., The CW). Series premiere. Sorry, no Jennifer Lopez or any other “In Living Color” dancers. Instead it’s a new reality series following a bunch of Virgin American flight attendants. Oh, did I mention they’re all young, hot and lead drama-filled lives? Whatever. It’s nothing we haven’t seen before, and this one looks even more contrived and cheesy than most. And come on, flight attendant hasn’t been a glamorous occupation since about 1964. We’ve moved on to pharmaceutical sales rep.
