Watch it
“Parks and Recreation” (8:30 p.m., NBC). Leslie crusades against the sale of junk food at parks, and Mark makes the mistake of helping Tom move. Oooh, and I heard this week that Andy Samberg of “SNL” will pull a guest role later in the season as Leslie’s nemesis and head of parks security. Awesome.
“The Office” (9 p.m., NBC). A mysterious company called Sabre buys Dunder Mifflin. Kathy Bates guests as the company’s odd CEO. Meanwhile, Pam and Jim apply for a day-care center, a plotline I already hate.
“30 Rock” (9:30 p.m., NBC). Frank moves in with Liz again. And Jenna’s trashy pill-popping mom (“SNL” alum Jan Hooks) drops in to throw her estranged daughter a surprise party.
“Burn Notice” (10 p.m., USA). Michael’s skuzzy neighbor asks for help. But he’s a nice drug dealer, so Michael obliges.
Record it
“Fringe” (9 p.m., Fox). Walter suspects the mysterious William Bell was responsible for an earthquake in Manhattan. And Olivia freaks out, having flashback to the ’89 Loma Prieta quake that killed her parents.
“Archer” (10 p.m., FX). Archer has to seduce an enemy agent to retrieve a compromising videotape of his mother. Boom-chicka-wa-waaaaaa (that’s the porn music cue).
“Project Runway” (10 p.m., Lifetime). Fashion-ey things happen.
“Important Things with Demitri Martin” (10 p.m., Comedy Central). Season premiere. The comedian is back with a second season of standup/pseudo-sketch routines. Tonight’s subject: Attention.
“Sarah Silverman Program” (10:30 p.m., Comedy Central). Season premiere. Sarah thinks she was born a hermaphrodite and starts acting like a dude. I don’t know . . . I can take her act for about 5 minutes before it gets annoying. And don’t bother watching sober, it just gets annoying even faster (21 and over, please; and drive responsibly!).
Skip it
“Surviving Survivor” (8 p.m., CBS). A pointless clip show and preview of the upcoming season.
“Impaled!” (9 p.m., Discovery). The title says it all. Ick.
“Pig Bomb” (10 p.m., Discovery). This title, sorry to say, is not literal. But “Impaled!” and “Pig Bomb” may be the greatest back-to-back programming move in Discovery history.
