Watch it

“Better Off Ted” (8:30 p.m., ABC). Ted helps his brother get a job with a Veridian supplier. Regret ensues. And Veronica wins an award from a girls’ charity, who obviously know nothing about her.

“Human Target” (9 p.m., Fox). Chance hunts down a killer at a party hosted by the Russian embassy. No, it’s not bad shrimp.

“White Collar” (10 p.m., USA). Peter and Neal try to take down Agent Fowler. But is Fowler really the bad guy? Hmmmmm . . . .

Record it

“Supermassive Black Holes” (8 p.m., Science). Oh wait, it’s not about the song by Muse. Or the Disney movie from the ’80s. Never mind.

“Southland” (10 p.m., TNT). A repeat from last season, but still worthy. Tom Sizemore guest stars as a celebrity in trouble with the law. Wow, there’s a stretch.

“Chopped” (10 p.m., Food Network). Soft-shell crabs and peppermint sticks vex the cheftestants. Though thankfully, not in the same dish.

“Three Sheets” (11 and 11:30 p.m., Fine Living). Zane boozes it up in Tuscany and, later, Japan.

Skip it

“Scrubs” (8 p.m., Fox). My friend and co-worker (who will remain nameless, though he feels his shame) was wrong: “Scrubs” isn’t funnier now. It’s still bad and needs to die with dignity.

“XXX: State of the Union” (10 p.m., FX). Just FYI, this is NOT a preview of tomorrow night’s State of the Union address by President Obama. Nor is it the porn version.

“Blue Mountain State” (10 p.m., Spike). Even by Spike standards, this is off-the-charts bad.