How can you recreate magic? (MTV photo)

As much as I hate to say it, I don’t want to see another season of “The Jersey Shore.”

As I’m sure you’ve heard by now, the most sublime reality show in years has been renewed by MTV for a second season. The cast have all been re-signed, and it’s scheduled to be back on the air by summer.

But why?

Don’t get me wrong, I loved every minute of “The Jersey Shore”: the guidos and the poofs, the drunken brawls, beating up the beat, the robbing of hot chicks, the grenades and the gorillas. It was slack-jawed fun, ridiculously stupid, yet somehow, amazingly, embarrassingly compelling. (I swear, every time I hear the word “situation” now, I think to myself, “Now THIS is a Situation!”) But like every greatest summer ever, it’ll never be repeated.

MTV caught lightning in a bottle the first time around, and a second season is doomed to disappoint. The Jersey Seven (oooh, how much is Angelina kicking herself now?) are famous now, and their original neighborhood-mook appeal and spontaneous goofiness is gone, replaced by a celebrity’s sense of self-awareness. On the Shore, they’d now be marked men (and women). Look at how many fights they got into in Season 1, and that was with no one knowing who they were. Now they’re famous. Famous people attract idiots. Hey, deck Ronnie, get on TV! Who cares if he’s built like a rhino, you’ll be famous! Woo hoo! I guarantee you, between the brawlers, the crazy fans and the famewhores, it’d be a riot every time they went out.  With the amount of security they’d need, there’s no way to recapture that real-life guido authenticity.

The great thing about “The Jersey Shore” was seeing those guys in their natural environment. That’s over too. Seaside Heights, N.J., has said it won’t let the show be shot there again. So where will they go? It can’t be anywhere else on the Jersey Shore (besides the marked-man thing, Season 2 is being shot in the next couple of months, which dictates a warm-weather locale). It’s gotta be someplace that tolerates celebrities, where they can mingle and party with relative impunity. MTV is reportedly checking out nine possible locations, including Malibu and Miami Beach. Those fit the bill, but it just wouldn’t be the same seeing Ronnie fist pumpin’ or Skooni cartwheeling on a dancefloor full of models and actors. They’d be too far out of their element. As ridiculous as they were to the rest of America, The Jersey Seven were completely in their element in Seaside, the epitome of that subculture’s ideals of coolness and attractiveness. Anywhere else, they’d just be freakish outsiders. (Or am I completely overestimating L.A. and Miami?)

We’ll end up hating them all too. With only eight episodes, the characters didn’t get a chance to wear out their welcome and get overexposed. But stretch that to 22 episodes? Or season after season after season? I guarantee you, The Situation’s act would get annoying. Just look at “Real World” alums The Miz and J.T. — they long ago crossed from lovable meatheads to pathetic pseudo-celebrities trying to stretch out their moments in the sun long past their expiration dates. I don’t want to see Pauly D end up like that. (Though how awesome would it be to have a “Jersey Shore” vs. “Real World” Challenge? I’ll tell you how awesome: Hella! MTV, make this happen.)

I know America loves sequels. But sometimes we’re better off leaving well enough alone. End on a high note. Go out a winner.  Best to leave people asking “what could’ve been?” rather than “how did it end up like this?” (Did “The Matrix” teach us nothing?) Preserve their legacy, and let the sun set on that one perfect summer.

Now that would be memorable.