Random thoughts on last night’s episode of “The Amazing Race.” Warning, this is pretty much entirely spoilers.

"Shut uuuuuuup!" (CBS photo)

OK, let’s start on my hate for Sam & Dan. Mostly Dan. How did this happen so quickly? It’s funny, because earlier in the season they didn’t seem bad at all. Maybe it’s the editing, but they’ve taken on a real villain role over the past few weeks. Dan, especially, is etching himself into “TAR” lore as one of the most annoying, whiny racers ever. Not quite a male version of Flo, I’d say he’s more the male version of Mirna. Just SHUT UP, Dan!

Dan’s also a pretty terrible sport. Suggesting he and Big Easy work together during the Kafka challenge was questionable to begin with, but to renege on the deal and ditch Big Easy was classless. It’s fine if you want to play the ruthless competitor, but in that case, don’t ask for help. You can’t have it both ways. This was the second episode in a row where he actively sabotaged another team, and that’s weak. You should win or lose on your own merits. One of the big reasons why I like “The Amazing Race” so much is because it’s not “Survivor,” and scheming and betrayals aren’t a normal part of the game. You really can win by playing fair. And Dan’s just spitting into the face of that concept. Calling the judges at the Kafka challenge “douches” because Dan couldn’t figure out the puzzle? That’s just being an asshat.

Then there’s the utter hypocrisy of Sam & Dan. They say in an interview they don’t trust the Globetrotters because they figure they’ll get stabbed in the back. Then Dan goes and stabs them first. They steal Brian & Ericka’s cab but have a hissy fit when Meghan & Cheyne try to steal theirs. Again, you can’t have it both ways.

Of course, all that is just icing on the cake, because Dan’s incessant whining and the bickering between him and Sam just drives me up the wall. These guys can’t get off my TV fast enough. Which of course means they’ll probably win next week.

I was also seriously bugged that their golum was approved even though the arm was busted. That was way too lenient judging.

Hope they enjoyed their visit to the nation of Prague and got to speak Spanish to the locals. Oh yeah, it also bugs me how they’re both dumber than a bag of hammers.

——————————————————–

Whew. OK, I’m done with the Sam & Dan rant. Onto better things . . . .

So what can I say about the Globetrotters? Ugh, how disappointing and wrongheaded. They’re professional athletes! Don’t quit! Stick it out! I thought that went against every grain of their being, especially so close to the million-dollar finish line. It wasn’t even a good strategic move – it relied entirely on hoping there’d be bunching somewhere along the line, which the show has been pretty good at avoiding this season. They also saw each team pass them, so they knew they were already in last place; you’ve gotta figure you could figure out the word in less than four more hours. Especially since, given that the first letter was F, there are only 24 combinations. Come on, the vowel has to be the second or third letter! Come on, Big Easy!! God, that was maddening to watch.

——————————————————–

Overall though, I loved the Kafka challenge. Very apt for Prague. Meghan’s word association was a smart move, and hilarious. (F is for ferret?) And I loved how Brian said “hello?” every time he answered the phone, and even asked a very obviously recorded message if it could confirm the letter Z. Heh. Nice job by the judges of emphatically stamping X’s on the rejected forms, too.

——————————————————–

"F . . . . F is for 'ferret.' "

So how much does Meghan kick butt? She’s really carried her team this season. Sure, she’s high-strung and freaks out over weird things (like, Cheyne’s complaining was annoying, but he wasn’t yelling at her or even yelling at all). She’d be a worthy winner. It was impressive/odd that they never even saw another team this leg. They’re soooo far out in front. Too bad that lead will evaporate at the airport. There’s an odd lack of chemistry between the two of them though. They seem like friends, but I wonder if the whole dating thing was just made up to sound juicier to the producers. And Chenye’s hair still freaks me out.

——————————————————–

After watching this episode, I now know that Prague is entirely populated by smoking-hot models (they even drive cabs!) and drunken soccer hooligans.

——————————————————–

Despite the hottest cab driver in “TAR” history, I’ve been disappointed in the number of cab rides this season, which tend to lack drama and take the results out of racers’ hands. If they can’t drive themselves, I’d love to see a return of public transit options. Buses, subways, trains . . . . OK, the subway option bit Brian & Ericka in the butt last week, but that’s what I like, the added question of “which will get us there most efficiently?” Maybe they need to give the racers less money. I don’t recall money ever even coming into play this season. Make ’em more frugal and force them to get creative in getting around.

——————————————————–

And finally, Brian & Ericka. They don’t bug me as much as they once did. (Though Brian, one shot of absinthe does not make you drunk.) Gotta hand it to them, they don’t give up and have persevered through some tough challenges. The beer delivery was kinda hilarious in how it became an obstacle course around drunken folks. Ericka only had one meltdown, which was an improvement. And their reaction when they found out they made the final three was priceless.

——————————————————–

The finale is next Sunday, and ends in Las Vegas. So who’s gonna win? I’m going with Meghan & Cheyne, they’re just looking too strong. They manage to stay cool under pressure too, which is usually key in the final-stage memory challenge. Hopefully Brian & Ericka can sneak into second, and Sam & Dan will have another meltdown and drop to third. But really, as long as they don’t win, I’ll be happy.