Watch it
“How I Met Your Mother” (8 p.m., CBS). Barney’s back on the prowl after breaking up with Robin. That came kinda abruptly. Hopefully now he’ll dig up some dirt on her onetime variety show with Alan Thicke.
“Gossip Girl” (9 p.m., The CW). Blair hopes to woo some new friends by getting Lady Gaga to do a private concert at NYU. Poor B, so needy. Meanwhile, Dan, Olivia and Vanessa all decide to do the school play. Awesomely bad idea, in the wake of their ill-advised threesome last week. Awkwardness ensues.
Record it
“The Prisoner” (8 p.m., AMC). The second two-hour installment of the re-imagined miniseries. Tonight Six asks who No. 2 works for. Oh wait, that was Austin Powers. (And BTW, I just can’t bring myself to think of Jim Caviezel as Six. Six is Tricia Helfer’s hot Cylon on “Battlestar Galactica. Case closed.) The second hour airs at 9 p.m. Oh, speaking of Tricia Helfer, she guest-stars on “Two and a Half Men” tonight, but that show’s too stupid for me to recommend in good conscience.
“House” (8 p.m., Fox). Dr. House treats a porn star who suffers from eye pain. I don’t even wanna ask what might have caused that.
“Wright Out of Bounds” (8 p.m., Travel Channel). Series premiere. A new show I know nothing about starring Ian Wright, who I’ve never heard of. But I like travel shows. Tonight he checks out Syria during Ramadan.
“World War II in HD” (9 p.m., History Channel). Tonight’s first hour features clips from the brutal fighting on Tarawa. The second hour, starting at 10 p.m., focuses on the D-Day landings.
“Chef Academy” (11 p.m., Bravo). Series premiere. A new reality show starring French chef Jean-Christophe Novelli as he tries to whip amateur chefs into shape at his new culinary academy. Sounds kinda “Hell’s Kitchen”-ish, and the fact that it’s airing at 11 p.m. without a lot of hype makes me think it might . . . how do you say . . . suck.
Skip it
Monday Night Football (5:30 p.m., ESPN). Ravens at Browns. Ugh. This promises to be a terrible game. Unless you’re a Ravens fan. I say 35-0 Ravens.
“Lopez Tonight” (11 p.m., TBS). One week into the series and we’re already into C-list guests like Charlie Sheen, Demi Lovato and Slash. Yikes.
