Watch it

Baseball. It’s playoff time, and TBS kicks it all off with a tripleheader. It’ll be Rockies at Phillies at 11:30 a.m., followed by the Twins at the Yankees at 3 p.m., capped by the Red Sox at Angels or Cardinals at Dodgers at 6:30 p.m. Go . . . . ehhh, Rockies, I guess. Anyone but the Dodgers.

“Modern Family” (9 p.m., ABC). Jay (old Al Bundy) and his son-in-law Phil (the lame dad) play with model airplanes. This seems ill-fated. Phil’s lameness, by the way, might be the highlight of the series. He’s perfect as the dorkiest dad in the world.

“Top Chef” (10 p.m., Bravo). The cheftestants are back after a one-week layoff. Tonight Tyler Florence guest-judges.

Record it

“MythBusters” (9 p.m., Discovery). Season premiere. The coolest show ever. Tonight the gang experiments with bullets and tests if you can really knock someone’s socks off.

“South Park” (10 p.m., Comedy Central). Season premiere. The most brutally hilarious show on television is back Tonight, Kyle hires ghostbusters after his little brother is haunted by ghosts.

“Secret Girlfriend” (10:30 p.m., Comedy Central). Series premiere. This could be awful or a funny, guilty pleasure. Or both. Based on the Web series, it’s shot from a first-person perspective and follows a bunch of idiotic guys as they try to score with hot girls. Expect lots of raunch, bleeped language and gratuitous cleavege.

Get freaked out

“Monster Bug Wars” (10 p.m., Discovery). Series premiere. Real insects fight. I guess it’s a documentary or something, but there’s no way I’ll ever watch it. I don’t trust anything with more than four legs, and watching an hour of centipedes and spiders and such would give me a giant case of the willies. Not gonna happen.

Skip it

“Cougar Town” (9:30 p.m., ABC). I think I’m ready to give up. The cast is great and there’s tons of potential, but until it figures out how be better than a female version of  “Gary, Unmarried,” I’m off the bandwagon.