That’s it, I have to quit Spencer and Heidi, even if it means going cold turkey.

(And yes, that’s the most ridiculous picture of them I can find, thanks for noticing.)

The supremely, sublimely self-absorbed couple from “The Hills” have managed to create a week’s worth of headlines on every entertainment outlet in the country over their shenanigans on “I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here.” They quit, they’re back, they quit again, they’re back again. I’ve been just as guilty, mentioning them in this blog twice — now three times — this week. I’ve even clicked on Speidi stories on EW.com and the LA Times and lord knows where else out of morbid curiosity on numerous occasions.

But for what? For their manufactured drama? For their addiction to cameras? For their inane, self-righteous bickering? For Spencer’s mesmerizingly hideous flesh-colored beard?

No more. Bit by bit, article by article, video by video, I’m losing precious brain cells. I have to stop to save myself, and I’m drawing a line in the sand. Errr, carpet. I hereby vow that from this point on, until the start of next season’s premiere of “The Hills” (come on, I’m a man, not a robot! I can only hold out so long!), I will not mention The Couple Who Shall Not Be Named in this blog. Furthermore, I will refrain from giving precious page clicks to stories about them I may stumble across online.

Like ghosts, annoying small children and that mysterious tingling in my left side, I’m hoping that if I ignore them they’ll eventually go away. I urge you to do the same. Starve them from the attention they so desperately crave. Together, we can live in a world without Pratts. And what a wonderful world that will be.