Watch it
49ers vs. Saints (5:30 p.m., ESPN). If the Niners lost that badly to the Seahawks last week, than this game could get really ugly, really fast.
“Chuck” (8 p.m., NBC). Season premiere. The Buy More may be gone, but Chuck is still managing to keep busy. Tonight he sets out to find his long-missing mother (Linda Hamilton). Meanwhile, Sarah and Casey head to Russia to investigate a new bad guy (Dolph Lundgren).
“Lone Star” (9 p.m., Fox). Series premiere. A Texas con man leading a double life wants to go legit. But he doesn’t want to break up his two families. Sounds totally soapy, but it’s getting good buzz. This might be worth a look.
“Hawaii Five-O” (10 p.m., CBS). Series premiere. The classic cop series gets a reboot. Might as well check it out to see if it lives up to the hype. Doesn’t look like an Emmy winner, but could be mindless fun and eye candy. Sometimes that’s all you need.
Record it
“How I Met Your Mother” (8 p.m., CBS). Season premiere. Ted bumps into Cindy (Rachel Bilson), the roommate of his future wife. And Marshall wants a family. Now.
“The Event” (9 p.m., NBC). Series premiere. A new thriller about a slowly unraveling, deep-seated conspiracy involving pretty much the entire government. It looks super complex, and I’m going to skip it because I don’t trust that it’ll lead anywhere. I learned my lesson from “FlashForward.” And “The X-Files.” And a bunch of others. But if you want to take a chance to fill the hole left by “Lost,” let me know how it is.
“Gossip Girl” (9 p.m., The CW). Chuck has a new identity and a new girlfriend and is having a great time in Paris until he sees — wait, is that Blair and Serena?!?
“World of Jenks” (10 p.m., MTV). Tonight the new documentary series is in San Francisco hanging out with a homeless girl who prefers life on the streets to her former homelife.
Skip it
“Dancing With the Stars” (8 p.m., ABC). Season premiere. David Hasselhoff. The Situation. Bristol Palin. I’m just going to keep going on until we hit a celebrity someone actually cares about. Michael Bolton. Audrina Patridge. Kyle Massey. Jennifer Grey. Florence Henderson — oooh! Mrs. Brady! Eh, nahhh. Wow, I give up. This is the most schlocky, D-list lineup of contestants yet. Which might actually make it kinda awesome in a trainwreck sort of way.
“Mike & Molly” (9:30 p.m., NBC). Series premiere. A contender for worst new show of the year. This one’s a sitcom about a couple who meet at overeaters anonymous. Brace yourself for the fat jokes.
“Chase” (10 p.m., NBC). Series premiere. A very ordinary-looking procedural about U.S. Marshals. Doesn’t look up the level of FX’s “Justified” or USA’s “In Plain Sight.”
