Charlie Sheen’s slow-motion train wreck totally jackknifed Thursday, with a scathing, bizarre attack on his boss and CBS then effectively canceling the rest of the season for “Two and a Half Men.”
In a rant Mel Gibson would be proud of, Sheen spouted off on the nationally syndicated Alex Jones radio show on a wide range of topics. Among them:
— His boss, executive producer Chuck Lorre, who Sheen referred to as an anti-Semitic slur, “a clown” and “a charlatan.” Sheen also mentioned he “violently hates” the “stupid, stupid little man” and challenged him to fight in the Octagon (that’s a mixed martial arts thing).
— Alcoholics Anonymous, which Sheen called “a bootleg cult” that’s “the work of sissies.” He went on: “One of their mottoes is ‘Don’t be special, be one of us.’ Newsflash: I am special, and I will never be one of you! I have a disease? Bulls—! I cured it with my brain, with my mind.”
— Ah yes, his mindpower. Let’s just let Sheen describe himself: “I’ve got magic. I’ve got poetry in my fingertips. Most of the time — and this includes naps — I’m an F-18, bro. And I will destroy you in the air. I will deploy my ordinance to the ground.”
— The “Major League 3” movie, which is supposedly in the works: “If they want me in it, it’s a smash. If they don’t, it’s a turd that opens on a tugboat.” (Well, actually, can’t argue with that one.)
— And then things got weird. Again, Sheen in his own words: “We work for the Pope, we murder people. We’re Vatican assassins. How complicated can it be? What they’re not ready for is guys like you and I and Nails and all the other gnarly gnarlingtons in my life, that we are high priests, Vatican assassin warlocks. Boom.” That wasn’t all: “If you’re part of my family, I will love you violently. If you infiltrate and try to hurt my family, I will murder you violently.”
— Oh, and one last thing: “I’m not Thomas Jefferson. He was a p—y.”
The rant was apparently the last straw for CBS: Production on the season’s four remaining episodes (which had already been reduced from eight due to Sheen’s antics) was canceled. No word on whether the show — still America’s No. 1 sitcom — will be back in the fall for a ninth season, or if it will continue without its star. Sheen brings in a boatload of money for CBS, but this latest bit of antagonism just might have convinced the network that they’re better off without him.
Honestly, Sheen’s antics aren’t even funny anymore and at the rate he’s going, he only seems to be fattening up his soon-to-be-written obituary. It’s just pathetic and sad.
What do you think? Has finally Sheen gone too far? Can the show survive without him? Would it even be possible to enjoy the show knowing now how legitimately messed up he is?