“Wipeout” (8 p.m., ABC). Season premiere. Ooooh, a special winter edition! Because snowballs go splat too. I kinda love this show — it’s stupid, but totally fun.
“Jersey Shore” (10 p.m., MTV). Season premiere. Season 3 returns to Seaside Heights, land of the guidos. The action tonight picks up not long after the Miami season, with new cast member Deena arriving pre-drunk and Sammi and J-Woww getting into a fight. And I hear it’s an epic fight. Once again, this is completely stupid, but totally fun.
“NFL’s Greatest Games: 49ers vs. NY Giants” (10 p.m., ESNP2). Remember when the 49ers were a playoff team? Take a break from the current misery and relive the 2003 wild-card playoff game that saw Jeff Garcia lead a stunning comeback victory.
“Late Night with Jimmy Fallon” (12:35 a.m., NBC). Jim Carrey is the guest, which is like, who cares? But Iron & Wine is the musical guest, and he’s great live.
GoDaddy.com Bowl: Miami (Ohio) vs. Middle Tennessee State (5 p.m., ESPN). The Who-Cares Bowl. Anyone who actually watches this is in serious need of professional help.
“Selling New York” (9 p.m., HGTV). In the midst of the massive housing market collapse, what could give you the warm & fuzzies more than watching self-important tycoons buy and sell ridiculously expensive properties like they were playing Monopoly? Thumbs down on general principle.