Have your muscles atrophied from sitting on the couch? Is your remote broken and you can only change channels once a day? Do you just feel like being lazy this Labor Day weekend? Lucky for you, there’ll be a ton of TV marathons all over cable, so just find the right channel, sit back and do nothing for hours on end. Here’s the best of the bunch:
Friday
“White Collar” (6 a.m.-4 a.m. Sat., USA). Catch all 17 episodes from the first two seasons, leading up to Tuesday’s mid-season finale.
Saturday
“Bizarre Foods with Andrew Zimmern” (9 a.m.-midnight, Travel). But can your stomach take it?
“Futurama” (9 p.m.-midnight, Comedy Central). Catch up on all of this season’s episodes. Part 1 tonight, Part 2 tomorrow.
“It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” (11 p.m.-5 a.m. Sun., FX). Who needs to sleep when this is on? BTW, Mac and Sweet Dee just had a baby in real life. Congrats.
Sunday
“No Reservations” (6 a.m.-midnight, Travel). Catch up on trips of yore. And there’s more tomorrow.
“River Monsters” (8 a.m.-3 a.m. Mon., Animal Planet). See fish that’ll scare you from ever taking a dip again.
“Rubicon” (9 a.m.-3 p.m., AMC). Catch up on the season before a new episode tonight at 9. It’s a bit slow though, so that six hours may seem like 12.
“Ice Road Truckers” (8 a.m.-8 p.m., History). Take a sip. Add ice. Ahhhhh. Repeat.
“Futurama” (9 p.m.-midnight, Comedy Central). Catch up on the current season. Part 2 of 2.
Monday
“Two and a Half Men” (midnight-midnight, FX). Hey, guess who bought the syndication rights?
“No Reservations” (6 a.m.-6 p.m., Travel). Best-of episodes in a countdown to the 100th episode at 7 p.m. (plus a clip show at 6 p.m.).
“House Hunters International” (6:30 a.m.-8 p.m., HGTV). Check out prospective homes from around the world.
“Whale Wars” (7 a.m.-3 a.m. Tues., Animal Planet). Hint: The episode where the Batman ship gets rammed is at 11 a.m.
“Everest: Beyond the Limit” (7 a.m.-7 p.m., Planet Green). Nothing like watching people get frostbite while you’re sweatin’ on a warm summer day.
“Hoarders” (8 a.m.-3 a.m. Tues., A&E). Realize how uncluttered your house really is.
“Pawn Stars” (8 a.m.-9 p.m., History). For those who can’t get enough junk. (Maybe you should be watching “Hoarders.”)
“Dirty Jobs” (9 a.m.-3 a.m. Tues., Discovery). Celebrate Labor Day by being glad none of these are your job.
“The Office” (10 a.m.-8 p.m., TBS). 20 classic episodes from the drones at Dunder Mifflin.
“Star Wars” (10 a.m.-7 p.m., Spike). The original “Star Wars” trilogy: “Star Wars,” “Empire Strikes Back” and “Return of the Jedi.” None of that damn Jar-Jar.
“Beverly Hills 90210” (11 a.m.-6 p.m., Soapnet). Reconnect with Steve Sanders and the gang. Too bad they missed 9/02/10 by a few days.
“Bones” (noon-8 p.m., TNT). Catch eight fan favorites.
“NCIS” (noon-9 p.m., USA). Eight favorite episodes. (Can you tell I’ve never watched this or “Bones”?)
“Reno 911” (4 p.m.-11 p.m., MTV2). Catch up with Dangle and the worst cops in America.