Free up some DVR space tonight, folks, “Modern Family” is a rerun and there’s some awesome (and awesomely awful) TV on tap . . . .
Watch it
“Pixar Short Films” (7 p.m., ABC Family). This may be the single best thing on TV tonight. This two-hour presentation features 20 of Pixar’s award-winning shorts — you know, the 5-minute ones you’re used to seeing before movies like “Ratatouille,” “Finding Nemo” or “Up.” They rarely fail to be funny, charming and visually stunning. Definitely worth checking out. Here’s one of my favorites:
“Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer” (8 p.m., CBS). The Christmas classic is back. Looking at it now, you realize Donner is a jerk of a father. And Santa is an even bigger jerk. Don’t believe me? Check this out:
But still, it’s a classic, you’ve gotta watch.
“Glee” (9 p.m., Fox). Uh oh, there are yearbook photo dilemmas. Namely, the glee club won’t get one and Quinn wants to be in the Cheerios’ one.
“Top Chef” (10 p.m., Bravo). It’s down to the final four. Tonight they’re in Napa County for Part 1 of the finale. Can Jen keep it together? Will Michael pull off his ridiculously bold dish? Will Kevin ever cook anything that doesn’t look awesome? Will Bryan ever crack a smile? Tune in for the answers.
Record it
“MythBusters” (9 p.m., Discovery). Adam and Jamie try to bust out of a jail cell using antacids. Now, how do you smuggle in all those Tums?
“Shadow Soldiers” (9 p.m., National Geographic). The host trains with an elite counterterrorism unit in Poland, then goes on a raid to capture a Russian mafia figure. What part of that is not cool?
“Steven Seagal: Lawman” (10 p.m., A&E). Series premiere. No, seriously! The onetime action movie star has been a reserve police officer for 20 years in Louisiana. And he somehow thinks that one week a year of ride-a-longs makes him a Super Cop. Oh, wait, sorry, it’s his world-renowned martial arts skills and superior marksmanship that make him a Super Cop. My mistake. Anyway, he goes through this show super serious, with not a hint of irony or a sense of humor or a life-imitates-art wink, entirely missing any sense of self-awareness. I’m telling you, watch this, it could be the most unintentionally funny series of the year.
“Conspiracy Theory with Jesse Ventura” (10 p.m, truTV). Series premiere. The former Navy SEAL/pro wrestler/Minnesota governor investigates crackpot theories. But since he’s a crackpot himself, don’t expect a particularly probing investigation. As an ironic side note, Ventura played a Man in Black on “The X-Files.” Tonight he checks out HAARP, the government’s secret earthquake-causing, weather-manipulating project in Alaska. No one can control earthquakes or the weather, you say? Yeah, that’s what the government wants you to believe!
“Launch My Line” (11 p.m., Bravo). Series premiere. A bunch of people with no fashion-designing experience try to launch their own clothing lines. Expect plenty of tears, frustration and awful fashions.
Skip it
“Nip/Tuck” (10 p.m., FX). This has become one of the most unpleasant shows to watch on TV. It’s just . . . . ick.
“Jay Leno Show” (10 p.m., NBC). It goes without saying this is skip-worthy, but tonight I really mean it; Jay’s guests are Dane Cook and Kim Kardashian. I’m warning you, if you’re foolish enough to tune in, the utter banality might melt your head like that Nazi in “Raiders of the Lost Ark.”
